What does Horny Mean? Your (Hot) Guide to Sexual Arousal
For some, a lack of sex drive can affect relationships and quality of life, while others actually struggle with spending too much energy on being constantly aroused. Either way, sex drive is very personal and individual. But how do you get horny? And is there anything you can do to increase your sex drive?
Jul 16, 2024by Miriam Johansen
7 min read
Being horny means that you are sexually aroused and want to have sex or masturbate. It's a natural part of our sexuality, but too much of a good thing can make it hard to concentrate at work or cause other unwanted feelings.
In addition, we react differently to being horny. For some, it comes naturally, while for others it causes guilt or shame. And low sex drive can also have consequences for relationships.
But at its core, horny is biologically about this:
When you think about something that makes you horny, a number of changes happen in your body. These include large amounts of blood flowing to the genitals, they swell in size and, in some, become slightly darker in colour.
This happens regardless of gender. We like to talk about a ‘tingling’ and warm sensation in the lower abdomen. There's also a lot going on in the rest of the body when you're horny:
Your heart rate and blood pressure increase, your breathing becomes faster and your skin temperature rises. Biologically, the reason we get a hard-on or erection is to be able to have sexual intercourse and reproduce.
But for some, it can be difficult to relate to the sexual instinct within us. This can lead to a range of difficult feelings, which you can read about below.
How Do You Get Horny?
Of course, there are situations where being horny can be both frustrating and distracting. But it's important to remember that sexual desire is a natural part of being human.
If you're struggling with low libido, you can actually train your sex drive. You simply need to expose yourself to more sex, for example reading books, watching TV shows or films that awaken your sexual desires and make you feel more comfortable.
It doesn't have to be porn by any means. It can just as easily be a sexy scene that sparks something in you.
Last but not least, it's important that you learn how to talk about sex, especially if you're struggling to figure out your own sexuality. It's not uncommon to avoid conversations about sexuality and horniness, even with your own partner.
There are several ways to increase sex drive and horniness:
Reduce stress: Try to find a solution to stress-related problems, whether at work or at home. Stress can lead to high cortisol levels in the body, which can break down sex hormones.
Eat the right stuff: Some foods are considered to boost libido. These include figs, bananas and avocados. These also provide many good vitamins and minerals that can increase blood flow to the genitals and enhance sex life.
Good sleep habits: A good night's sleep is important for many things, including boosting libido.
Alcohol and tobacco: An occasional drink won't harm your sex drive, but drinking large amounts of alcohol can affect blood flow to the genitals and kill your sex drive. Many people experience increased energy levels when they quit smoking.
The Art of Masturbation
If you grew up in a home where sex was rarely talked about, you may have never learnt to have a normal and healthy relationship with masturbation. For many, it's about associating sexual desire and horniness with shame or confusion.
But masturbation can have many benefits beyond sexual liberation. You become more comfortable with your body and you realise how you want to be touched.
Masturbation can reduce stress and causes the body to release endorphins, the body's feel-good hormones. The love hormone oxytocin also floods us when we orgasm.
Make time for yourself and your own pleasure, whether you're single or in a relationship.
In the beginning of a relationship, you're often open to exploring each other more. But remember that sexuality, like everything else, needs to be nurtured. The happier you are with your sex life, the better off you are in the relationship in general.
If you're struggling with low sex drive in your relationship, it might be a good idea to ask yourself if you're happy with the relationship as it is.
Low sex drive can be caused by:
You are getting bored in a long-term relationship
Loss of sexual attraction
Unresolved conflicts and frequent arguments
Poor communication
Difficulty trusting each other
It can also be purely physical issues such as:
Erectile dysfunction
Vaginal dryness
Painful sex
Inability to orgasm
Vaginismus (involuntary tightening or contraction of the pelvic muscles)
Think about what you need to maintain and sustain the tension in your relationship. For example, what did you used to do at the beginning of your relationship?
When Should You Seek Help?
As we've seen, it's perfectly normal to feel horny, although it can be both distracting and confusing. But for some, feeling horny and sex drive can be associated with shame or guilt at worst.
A correlation between natural libido and guilt is often seen in people who grew up in strictly religious homes and in certain cultures. Then you may need extra help to accept your feelings.
A therapist can help you with:
To teach you about healthy sexuality and behaviour
Exploring ways to approach your own sexuality
Working with any repressed desires
Gain better control over your mind
In some cases, extreme horniness and extensive masturbation can be hypersexuality and compulsive sexual behaviour.
If you notice any of these tendencies, you may want to talk to a therapist.
Sex Drive and Testosterone
There are several reasons why sexual desire can gradually decrease, but perhaps the most common is a change in the body's hormones.
Testosterone is incredibly important for a man's sex drive and ability to become aroused.
Daily intake of 4HIM TestoBalance provides the body with zinc, which helps maintain normal testosterone levels in the blood, as well as magnesium and vitamin B6, which help reduce tiredness and fatigue. Magnesium contributes to normal energy metabolism, normal muscle function, and normal psychological function. Panax ginseng can help maintain good sexual relationships.