How to Boost Self-Esteem: 8 Proven Tips

A positive self-image is about being content with yourself exactly as you are. Unfortunately, not everyone enjoys good self-esteem and self-confidence. Here are some straightforward, research-backed tips to help boost your self-esteem.

Aug 02, 2024by Miriam Johansen
14 min read
Confident man

For example, you can practise positive self-talk, let go of thoughts where you compare yourself to others, and, as we’ll see, a simple perfume trick can also come to your rescue on a bad day. Fortunately, there are a number of tips and techniques to help you feel better about yourself.

But first, let’s distinguish between confidence, self-esteem, and self-image. These are terms that are often used interchangeably.

Self-image, self-esteem and confidence

For example, you may have an amazing belief in your own abilities on the football pitch - but lack confidence when it comes to asking the woman of your dreams out on a date.

  • CONFIDENCE is about your judgement of your own performance in a specific area. High confidence is also closely linked to motivation. For example, if you have confidence on the football pitch, your motivation to help the team succeed is usually much stronger.
  • SELF-ESTEEM or SELF-FEELING, on the other hand, is about your basic sense of self-worth. A good self-esteem means that you feel a sense of inner security. A person with low self-esteem will often consider themselves inferior to other people.

So self-esteem is linked to being, while confidence is about doing.

  • SELF-IMAGE usually refers to the sum of your self-esteem and self-confidence. In other words, the overall perception you have of yourself. Self-image thus includes your abilities, your value, your place in the world and in relation to other people.

You can boost your self-image. In this article, we provide you with the magic formula. By the end, our goal is for you to know exactly what it takes to improve your self-esteem and confidence.

8 Proven Tips on How to Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem

It's highly likely that you have better self-esteem in some areas and worse in others. Therefore, below we give you EIGHT research-based tips to boost your overall self-esteem for the better.

In their simplicity, these tips may sound so simple that you think they won't help. But even though the formula is simple, studies show that they are super effective. So put your inner critic aside and join us.

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others Right Away

The very first thing you need to stop doing is comparing yourself to others. You might have a friend who takes better photos and has far more followers on Instagram, or perhaps a friend who earns more and drives a cooler car.

According to social comparison theory, it’s natural for us to compare ourselves to others. We often hear about the comparison trap, which grows the more you compare yourself to others, causing your self-confidence to suffer.

The first step is to become aware of this tendency. Let’s see what research says about comparing ourselves to others.

Two goldfish of the same size that look different because their aquariums are different sizes.
SAME FISH? It's all too easy to compare yourself to others.

Research on Comparing

A 2018 study on self-esteem published in Personality and Individual Differences shows that there is a direct correlation between comparing yourself to others and how you feel about yourself.

The researchers showed that envy grows out of the comparison trap. And the stronger the envy the participants felt, the worse they felt about themselves.

The conclusion was that people who tended to feel envy more often struggled with fluctuating self-esteem. This made their sense of worth fragile and vulnerable to external challenges.

READ MORE: Mid Life Crisis in Men: What Is It and What Can You Do?

Incidentally, the word "envy" comes from the Latin word "invidia", which means "non-sight". It is related to Dante's Divine Comedy. In the comedy, Dante had to work under lead cloaks while his eyelids were sewn together with lead thread. We are therefore referring to envy arising from or leading to a form of blindness.

4 tips for those who compare themselves to Others

  1. The first thing you need to do is realise that you are comparing yourself to others. STOP immediately.
  2. Remind yourself that this is not helpful, but rather harmful to your self-esteem. Remember that everyone has their own path to follow and that life is not a competition.
  3. If you feel envious of other people's lives, it can be helpful to remind yourself of your own strengths and successes. Write these victories down in a gratitude journal. Pull out the gratitude diary in moments of weakness.
  4. I bet you have strengths that others don't!

2. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Think about how your friends make you feel. Do they lift you up, or do you feel like they drag you down? You’ll probably find that some people have a more negative impact on you than others. Some tend to judge and criticise, while others are more accepting of who you are.

The people in your life have a significant influence on your thoughts and attitudes about yourself – often more than you might realise. Pay attention to how others make you feel:

If you consistently feel worse about yourself after spending time with a particular person, it might be worth considering reducing your interactions with them.

Surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you. Positive individuals can give you a boost in confidence. Studies show that good self-esteem and a positive attitude are closely linked.

PS: Think about the influence you have on your friends 🙂

A man with plenty of confidence
ENCOURAGING: A good friend accepts you as you are and gives you good energy

3. Be Good to Yourself

You might have tried applying this advice several times with varying degrees of success. So, let’s delve into what it truly means to practise self-compassion.

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness when you make mistakes, face failures, or encounter setbacks. While it’s not always easy, practising self-compassion can lead to greater emotional stability and resilience. It will help you manage difficult emotions more effectively and improve your relationship not only with yourself but also with others.

High levels of self-compassion are associated with increased self-confidence, as highlighted in a 2015 study on personality traits.

The next time you find yourself in a challenging situation, remember that feeling imperfect from time to time is simply a part of being human.

4. Spray Yourself With a Pleasant Fragrance

This is one of the easiest ways to quickly boost your confidence: apply your favourite perfume!

Research shows that wearing a pleasant fragrance can significantly enhance how you feel. A study published in the Journal of Cosmetic Sciences found that men who wore a good scent experienced increased confidence and felt more attractive. This boost in confidence was noticeable to those around them.

So, it's not just the scent itself that draws attention – it’s the extra confidence that the perfume or deodorant provides.

5. Practise Positive Self-talk

You can cultivate self-compassion by paying attention to how you talk to yourself.

It’s easy to become your own worst critic. Most people would agree that they rarely speak to themselves with the same kindness they offer a valued friend.

Negative self-talk can hold you back and is far from helpful for boosting your self-confidence.

Statements like:

  • “I can’t do this”
  • “No one likes me anyway”
  • “It’s no use even trying”

If you recognise these patterns of negative self-talk in yourself, know that many people engage in this kind of self-criticism from time to time. The issue arises when it becomes a frequent habit.

A child wearing office clothes shouts into another child's ear.
POSITIVE SELF-TALK: Talk to yourself as you would talk to a good friend

When you speak more positively to yourself, you'll strengthen your self-compassion and counteract the inner critic that tries to undermine your confidence. This shift will help you better tackle the challenges you face.

  • Next time you're in a demanding meeting at work and feel like you have nothing to contribute, recognise that you’re engaging in negative self-talk. Dismiss these critical thoughts and focus on adopting a more positive mindset.
  • Instead of saying, "I can’t do this," replace it with, "I will try." Instead of thinking, "I never do anything right," remind yourself, "I can do better next time," or "At least I’ve learned something."
  • However, be cautious not to overstate the positives to the point where you don't believe them. Be realistic. Replace extreme self-talk with more neutral statements. For example, instead of saying you "hate public speaking," say, "I don’t enjoy public speaking." This makes it easier to believe in yourself compared to claiming you "love public speaking." You might be surprised at how much this shift in self-talk can enhance your confidence.

And speaking of fears, such as the fear of public speaking: learn to face your fears!

6. Face Your Fears

We all encounter situations that can provoke fear or anxiety. However, the best way to combat fear is to face it head on.

Doing so is also highly beneficial for your self-confidence.

Challenge yourself to confront situations you usually avoid due to a lack of confidence. For example, if the thought of giving a presentation at work makes you anxious, go ahead and give it a try. Treat it as an experiment to boost your confidence and see what unfolds.

READ MORE: Testosterone: The Ultimative Guide for Men

Remember that a bit of fear and anxiety can actually enhance your performance. Experiencing these feelings can be beneficial and help you perform better in many situations.

You'll gain a confidence boost when you see that things didn't turn out as badly as you feared. And with more practice, your confidence will continue to grow.

Brave and confident man standing in a boat surrounded by sharks
You can boost your confidence in many different ways.

It's important to note that too much confidence can be problematic. Excessive confidence may lead you to take risks that put you in danger.

7. Give Your Body Extra Attention

Also, remember that your body needs to be looked after and cared for in order for you to feel good about yourself.

Taking care of your body is simply a matter of self-care. Exercise is good for both body and mind, and as a result, you'll feel more confident.

READ MORE: How to Get Rid of A Beer Belly

If you’ve never exercised or paid much attention to your diet, jumping in too aggressively can actually undermine your confidence. Start small and build up gradually. And, as we’ve discussed, remember to talk positively to yourself throughout the process.

Diet

When you fill up on nutritious food, you'll naturally feel healthier and more energised, which will make you feel great.

If you want to lose weight, find a diet plan that's right for you.

There are countless diets out there, but not all are suitable for everyone. Experiment, and you'll see your confidence soar as you reach your weight goal.

READ MORE: What Foods to Eat to Boost Testosterone

Exercise

Many studies show that physical exercise is good for self-esteem. For example, a 2016 study published in Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment found that regular exercise improved participants' body image. And better body image helps to boost self-confidence.

Meditation

More and more people are embracing the trend of mindfulness. Working with relaxation is beneficial for your overall well-being in many ways. Meditation can help you limit negative self-talk and foster greater self-acceptance.

In general, meditation can boost your confidence by providing peace and control over your thoughts.

Sleep

Above all, it's important to get enough sleep. Sleep affects our emotions, which in turn impacts how we feel about ourselves.

A good night's sleep makes you more resilient, optimistic, and confident!

8. Take Care of Your Masculinity 4HIM TestoBalance

You've probably found yourself comparing yourself to other men who seem to have that extra something. Perhaps it's the energy and power they exude? In this context, it's natural to consider the body's stock of testosterone.

Healthy testosterone levels are linked to masculine characteristics such as muscle mass and strength, a deep voice, hair growth, and sex drive.

Testosterone is the main male sex hormone. But did you know that levels can start to drop as early as age 30?

While there is unfortunately no miracle cure for good self-esteem, there are supplements that can help maintain normal testosterone levels.

4HIM TestoBalance is a dietary supplement for men that contains zinc, which contributes to the maintenance of normal testosterone levels in the blood and supports normal fertility and reproductive function. Magnesium and vitamin B6 help reduce tiredness and fatigue. Magnesium also contributes to normal energy metabolism, normal muscle function, and normal psychological function. Panax ginseng helps maintain good sexual relations, energy, and vitality.

All of these are important for a man's self-confidence!